Infidelity: A woman’s virtue removed

A rose.I talked about the less commonly known reason why infidelity occurs with the man; feeling that you’re unsafe around your spouse can force a man to seek safety in the arms of someone else, whether it be his mother (the momma’s boy), or another woman, so to speak. On the other part of the spectrum, women commit infidelity as well, yet I’ve found that their reasons actually stem from one major area… the loss of virtue.

Virtue defines as an admirable quality, or having good morale values. This is some thing that is not given naturally, yet is learned and earned over time. yet, just like it is earned, it can be given away for something far from virtue. I believe that ALL women are virtuous, yet with circumstances and negative situations, can lose sight of their virtuousness. In the Word of God; the Old Testament, in the book of Proverbs, chapter 12, verse 4, it states that the virtuous woman is a crown to her husband. Also in the book of Proverbs, chapter 31, verses 10 and 11, ties both the virtue of the woman and the safety that the mans feels in her virtue. A woman of virtue becomes the protection to the man’s integrity, yet like stated before, when issues arise within her relationship, or even within herself, virtue can be removed from the fore front and something else that creates a negative value within that woman can become the defining aspect of that woman.

I realized that circumstances, usually outside the woman’s inner circle can sometimes cause her to place her virtue on the back burner, so to speak, to deal with the situation,  yet she never strays too far away from her virtuousness. In other occasions, when the circumstance happens WITHIN her inner circle, the removal of virtue can last longer, and depending on the frequency and consistency of the issue, especially when the Enemy has infiltrated her inner home through her spouse  children, close family or even closer friends, she can ultimately lose sight of the virtue that is hers and hers alone. She ceases being the lady that she is, and degrades to less of a woman.

She starts to fall into an oppressive state of consciousness and without re-connecting with Spirit the degradation increases. What’s worse, is when the spouse assists in her removal of virtue and losing of sight. When he assaults the lady in her and tears from her a sense of confidence, trust and integrity, never to help replenish the inner love that makes her the woman she is and the lady she used to be. Soon, she seeks a reconnect to her virtue and sometimes, with the influence of the Enemy is deceived into thinking that her virtue lies in another man (there are other traps, yet we are talking about infidelity now). She gravitates to this person, who, in fact, is not the source of her virtue. (Remember before I mentioned a re-connection with Spirit?) Anyway, she becomes sucked into deception, depression and turns in to the foolish woman that tears her house down with her own hands.

As with all things of God, virtue can be restored; it however, can take time depending how far the woman has strayed. I say this to my men who have wife’s, fiance’s, or even girlfriends: do whatever you can to help her keep her virtue. It is what will enhance your life with her, and increase your safety in her. If you know you have assaulted her virtue, go to God for the path that will help her return. It’s not about fault, in either a man’s lack of safety, nor a woman’s removed virtue. It’s about getting back the the Garden. (Coming soon).

The ‘Real Nigga’ Movement

Currently I am in school, and one of the biggest issues that I have heard around campus is this spreading of the ‘real nigga’ concept among the young black males. They get around each other each day, with their backpacks, video game controllers and sagging pants proclaming the badge of ‘real nigga’. It’s already bad enough that they downplay themselves in public through false senses of realism, yet now they want to take on a concept that I KNOW they have no real clue about.

To my non- African American followers I say this; this is NOT a term of endearment, but more of a term of destruction. Do not think that I write this in any way to demean my culture, more so to place what I feel is greater understanding on what the African American man is labeling himself. We are now going to try and explain what a ‘real nigga‘ is and does.

A ‘real nigga’ is a real problem. He shows no real effort towards a real positive outcome in this world and brings no real value to a real culture dealing with enough real issues without this ‘real nigga’ adding to them. He is real ignorant, real confused, and real delusion to his real purpose. He strives to show real strength, through real outbursts of unfocused anger and resentment towards the world and those in it. He walks around with a real chip on his shoulder; expressing real blame and real accusations to anyone willing to take it.

He thinks in the unreal, yet tries to force it upon the reality. He carries real chaos wherever he goes, with hopes to be looked at as real slick, real smooth, or real tough, only to be seen as a real fool by those who are more aware of his real lack of sense.

Now ‘real niggas’ do not live real long, nor do they stay free in the real world. They usually will allow real apathy for their well-being place them in real prison doing real time, or in a real grave. This means that they have no real compassion for themselves or anyone else, yet seek real compassion from everyone because they think the real reason they are real oppressed and real depressed has to do with everyone else.

They really want real love, yet give a real twisted sense of real love to everyone they meet. They share this real corrupted thinking with their children, and are real proud when their real child falls into the same real trap they have lived in for a real long time.

They say they believe in a real God, yet serve a real Enemy, so they lack real hopes and dreams and share no real vision because they really think that all hope is lost. They ultimately travel a real path to nowhere and will take anyone with them that really wants to go.

One of the saddest things about the ‘real nigga’ is when you see young naive women or foolish older women gravitate to them because they believe that all this real illusion of grandeur, this real lack of focus or purpose, this real destructive nature that they portray or the real violent and unnecessary way they try to solve real situations is real sexy. They eventually try to express real justification for the real mess that this ‘real nigga’ has made in their lives and the lives of their family. They give real excuses to the physical, emotional and spiritual assaults that are real apparent to everyone else. They confuse real love with a real sense of physical and psychological control and manipulation that the ‘real nigga’ has over them, and take no real time to gain a real identity, and as a result can be transformed into the female version of the ‘real nigga… the ‘real bitch’ *(Another blog post).

I would have kept this going, but soon it becomes repetitious and I think that this should be enough to understand my views on the ‘real nigga’. Now keep in mind as you read this, that this is only my thoughts on the matter. Please feel free to use your own mind and follow your own thoughts.

I hope you enjoyed the read. Feel free to comment on this and anything else you read here.

Infidelity: the unsafe man

There are many different reasons that people commit infidelity, or adultery within their marriage. I am not going to focus on the well known reasons, but I want to talk about one that many are completely unaware of.

I am not here to promote infidelity, yet this reason actually affected me, and I had no idea of existence, until recently. It also has biblical significance, as it is with the majority of what I write. In the New Testament, the book of Mark, Chapter 10, Jesus spoke with the Pharisees in regards to divorce and in verses six and seven, he speaks that God made them man and woman, and that the man should let go of his mother and father and cling to his wife.

Now, when a man lets go of someone or something that made him feel SAFE, to connect with something else, his desire for SAFETY goes with him. When a man marries his wife, he sub-consciously invokes the need of safety from his wife. It is not about physical safety, mind you. The safety lies in the emotional aspect of his relationship. he wants to know that when the day is over, she has his back, she will protect his character and integrity from all forces outside of their marriage. It does not mean that she allows his ignorance or even stupidity to go unchecked, but the essence of her husband is safe in her hands.

When we are little, and were out with our mothers, for instance, and a stranger came up, we would hide behind our mother for safety. We didn’t know the intention of the person in front of us, nor did we know the person, so we sought out SAFETY from our mother in the situations.Even as we grow, we seek out SAFETY from our mother or father usually in when our characters are at stake, and once a potential life partner comes into play, and we decide to shift our focus to the realm of marriage, she becomes our SAFETY net.

So what happens when he begins to feel UNSAFE in his marriage? When his character and integrity is jeopardized by the one who is supposed to be his wife? When she speaks ill of him to friends and family, when she speaks ill of him in his face? When in her anger, places him emotionally and mentally in harms way? When he can no longer depend on her to have his back? He seeks out the safety he yearns for… sometimes, he reverts back to the ‘momma’s boy‘ phase, especially when momma is there. He clings to her leg like the child that he was and face it, is momma going to deny him her protection?

When momma is not around, he seeks SAFETY in someone else and this can easily lead to infidelity which becomes the catalyst to divorce. (Now this is not a subject of a one sided blame because if the man gives her a REASON to not keep him safe, then that takes it to a whole new level, and that is another subject in itself, so we will just be focusing here on the what happens when the man no longer feels safe.)

This phenomenon is rarely if ever focused on or discussed because of the subtlety of its nature, yet its validity is no less genuine. So, safety is something that everyone seeks out in their lives, whether it be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. The shared responsibility of both people within a relationship is to provide a form of safety that can strengthen the relationship in the long run. When that provision is broken or no longer is in play, the relationship suffers and can end up failing, so take a moment to assess your standing with the one you love. Do you know if he feels SAFE with you?