Statistics show that the divorce rate in America has risen above 50%, and is probably rising as you read this. Many relate this issue to finance, infidelity, and oppression, yet the most frequent reason that people divorce would be, in my view, none of these mentioned.
The issue that I see with marriage failure is that many people ONLY want to GET married… not BE married. People do not realize that the wedding is only a small and minute part of the realm of marriage, even though people tend to spend countless amounts of time and money on a event that lasts only a few hours, not taking into consideration that the reasoning behind the desire to have the wedding is to officially show that he and she want to BE married. The ‘being’ of marriage is forgotten until the reality of what marriage is starts to sink in after the reception, and honeymoon is over.
Being married requires a great amount of commitment, well beyond all the catering, the picking out of colors, dresses, tuxedos, decorations, and everything else people tend to spend money upon. marriage begins long before the ‘actual marriage’ ever begins. It starts with a thought… do I want to BE married to this person? Do I know what that means? Am I ready to submit to this man? Am I ready to submit to this woman? Can I do this for the rest of my life? Am I ready to do what it takes to be the wife or husband to this person?
People lose track of whats important to a marriage because they become distracted by the ceremony, and pleasing everyone else. they want their family and friends to be happy with something that has ultimately NOTHING to do with them, and by the time the gifts have been opened, the wine has ran out, the food has been eaten, the hugs and kisses have gone away, the broom has been jumped, and all the hoopla has subsided, the truth is that all of that does not diminish that you are now someones wife, or husband. You are now obligated to something that should NEVER be taken lightly… yet it usually is.
The value of marriage has been lost and continues to be degraded to something that may only last a few years, or months, or even weeks. People can spend thousands of dollars to perform a quick event(what makes it pointless is that it usually only fulfills a desire that has been dreamed of since childhood, like going to Disneyland, for example), only to spend thousands more trying to get away from each other. People WANT so many things surrounding that moment, but take no time to focus on the NEEDS to come. People want to GET married in this day and age; being married is what causes people to head down the road to divorce because they come to realize that this marriage thing is WORK, HARD, and requires SACRIFICE.
Ask yourself; if you are married, did you really want to BE or GET married? If you are single, in a relationship, or engaged, do you really want to BE married or just want the ceremony? Your answer may startle you… that is, if your honest.