Being married, or getting married, part one

Statistics show that the divorce rate in America has risen above 50%, and is probably rising as you read this. Many relate this issue to finance, infidelity, and oppression, yet the most frequent reason that people divorce would be, in my view, none of these mentioned.

The issue that I see with marriage failure is that many people ONLY want to GET married… not BE married. People do not realize that the wedding is only a small and minute part of the realm of marriage, even though people tend to spend countless amounts of time and money on a event that lasts only a few hours, not taking into consideration that the reasoning behind the desire to have the wedding is to officially show that he and she want to BE married. The ‘being’ of marriage is forgotten until the reality of what marriage is starts to sink in after the reception, and honeymoon is over.

Being married requires a great amount of commitment, well beyond all the catering, the picking out of colors, dresses, tuxedos, decorations, and everything else people tend to spend money upon. marriage begins long before the ‘actual marriage’ ever begins. It starts with a thought… do I want to BE married to this person? Do I know what that means? Am I ready to submit to this man? Am I ready to submit to this woman? Can I do this for the rest of my life? Am I ready to do what it takes to be the wife or husband to this person?

People lose track of whats important to a marriage because they become distracted by the ceremony, and pleasing everyone else. they want their family and friends to be happy with something that has ultimately NOTHING to do with them, and by the time the gifts have been opened, the wine has ran out, the food has been eaten, the hugs and kisses have gone away, the broom has been jumped, and all the hoopla has subsided, the truth is that all of that does not diminish that you are now someones wife, or husband. You are now obligated to something that should NEVER be taken lightly… yet it usually is.

The value of marriage has been lost and continues to be degraded to something that may only last a few years, or months, or even weeks. People can spend thousands of dollars to perform a quick event(what makes it pointless is that it usually only fulfills a desire that has been dreamed of since childhood, like going to Disneyland, for example), only to spend thousands more trying to get away from each other. People WANT so many things surrounding that moment, but take no time to focus on the NEEDS to come. People want to GET married in this day and age; being married is what causes people to head down the road to divorce because they come to realize that this marriage thing is WORK, HARD, and requires SACRIFICE.

Ask yourself; if you are married, did you really want to BE or GET married? If you are single, in a relationship, or engaged, do you really want to BE married or just want the ceremony? Your answer may startle you… that is, if your honest.

Church Addiction: what is it? A brief…


the definition of an addict is someone who devoted to a specified thing or activity. Now, while this definition is not normally used when talking about an addict, it is appropriate for this discussion.

Devotion to something like church is not a negative thing, yet how it becomes negative is the intention behind it. Many people use church as an escape from their lives, not necessarily a chance to worship God, nor become empowered to help others. The intent behind the frequency of church visits, church function and event attending, becoming a part of the church staff, etc… is focused on a need to get away from family, wives, husbands, kids, or whatever he or she feels is a burden or oppressive issue in their lives. Instead of becoming addicted to some sort of narcotic, or negative pastime, they will use church as the ‘positive addiction’ because people have a tendency to look at a person who attends church almost EVERY day of the week as a devote follower of God, Christ, etc… This is not usually the case.

The purpose of church attendance is to fellowship, worship, praise, gain knowledge and understanding, then share that with others. It is supposed to allow on to gain the strength and courage to deal with the world and the hell that resides within it by coming together and reinforcing ones faith in God and the teachings of Christ.

Now for those that are followers of other faiths, please understand that this is something that can be tied to your place of worship as well. This phenomenon is not singularly connected to any one religion. There are mosque addicts, synagogue addicts, kingdom hall addicts, parish addicts, temple addicts, and many others.

While this is a brief on the ‘What is It’ focus of church addiction, we will get in depth in the next blog that talks about the typical church addict and how one can spot them. The next will focus from the pews to the pulpits. Stay tuned…

Am I just another pretty face? Auto-tune artists and there negative impact on the vocal arts.

One of the issues that I have seen lately in the music industry is a flood of un-talented artist being promoted and presented to the masses using electronic augmentation in order to imply that these men and women are actually singers in their own right. The abuse the ‘Auto Tunes’ technology has become, to me, a great problem that is getting worse as the need for the physical image grows as well as the lack of any vocal ability to speak of other than the ability to talk.

People are becoming more de-sensitized to the fake singing phenomenon and see only the so-called ‘sex appeal’ of the artist. They follow only the flash and glamour, the fast movement and theater presence yet these imposters dare to call themselves ‘singers’, or ‘vocalists’. It may be said that the person never said that they were vocalists, yet they present themselves as vocalists each time they grab a microphone and lip sync behind a robotic, mechanically processed voice. There are so many of these imposters lurking in the shadows and for some reason are seen as ‘stars’???? Now, I do not blame the auto tunes technology no more than I would fault the inventor, yet this is about how the music industry has perverted the whole vocal ecosystem by using a tech that was only meant to tweak a vocalists pitch to the forefront of what is known as artistic development.

The majority of those that exclusively use Auto-Tunes as a means to produce vocals on a track are nothing but pretty faces used to mask a complete lack of real talent. Even those artists who have actual vocal ability are using the tech to cut corners when it comes to a quality vocal product just to save time getting their projects out to the masses. An what’s worse, is that these same artists justify this practice as to say that those of us who work hard to perfect our craft have wasted time doing so! Why should we embrace the vocal passions when we can just let a computer do the work for us?

Here’s a scenario: a man gets off of work one day during a rainstorm at night. He is a bit tired, but not too tired to drive and since he has taken this route countless times, he feels no pressure to increase his safety. Suddenly, he is in a bad accident and ends up in the hospital awaiting surgery. The doctor comes into his room and then begins to explain the procedure. The doctor says, “we will perform the procedure within a day or so, and I am happy to tell you that we will be using a breakthrough device called ‘Auto-Surgeon. This device was designed to allow real doctors to tweak and improve their medical practice, but in order to save money, we have decided to allow one of the orderlies to perform the procedure. He has no real medical experience, but he does wear scrubs and a white doctors coat everyday. He looks souch like a doctor and the Auto-Surgeon will do most of the work, so we trust that he will do a fine job on you. Yes, your life will be in his hands, but he will have the Auto-Surgeon there; no real skill or practice, just a device that we feel will do the job without actually putting any real study or practice behind it. The question is: would you allow it to work on you? Would you allow someone who has no real experience inside your body using a device designed for practicing medical procedures?

It seems that if all it takes is a microphone and auto-tunes, then we might as well put a mike in front of a parrot or let a chimp scream and just adjust it to sound like an actual song; that’s what people are paying real money for nowadays anyway.